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New York’s Streets Run Red With Blood After State Bans Cat Declawing

New York cats have received a license to kill across the state after lawmakers passed a ban on cat declawing. Since the law’s passage, hundreds of thousands of cat attacks have been reportedly carried out by the emboldened felines.

“It’s sheer chaos,” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo stated. “Our pussies have gone mad with power. Even the declawed cats have attached sharp implements to their paws.”

Officials say the law will remain in place until a new bill can make it to the governor’s desk.

“Unfortunately the law also gave cats the right to vote. So this might be our future for quite some time,” Cuomo stated.

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