Expect a Giant Covfefe Balloon at Trump’s 4th of July Parade

Trump is revealing the meaning of ‘covfefe’ and people couldn’t be more excited.

Surgeons Will No Longer Be Required To Take Naps Halfway Through Operations

Now it’s possible to avoid having to pay a doctor for their time spent curled up on the operating table next to your barely-clothed, unconscious body.

Chris Brown Recorded Real Domestic Violence to Create Percussion Tracks on New Album

Authorities are calling Chris Brown’s new album Indigo “32 tracks of incriminating evidence” which relate to 14 new assualt allegations against the artist.

Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”

“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted.

HGTV Star Candice Olson Reveals New “Toilet Room” Concept

“Having a room where everyone is encouraged to openly relieve themselves is a game changer. Period.” – HGTV

Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham Masters Resting Bitch Face Just in Time to Replace Sarah Sanders

Grisham is scheduled to take a crowbar to the face later today in an attempt to make her eye situation match that of Sanders.

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