Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring


“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren

Native American and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren brought up her ancestry again at a rally in Mason City, Iowa before telling the crowd to remember to change their dreamcatcher filters.

“After a year your dreamcatcher has had everything thrown at it: monsters, sex, falling, ex husbands, murder, and so on,” Warren stated. “That all builds up and what you end up with is a dreamcatcher that leaks bits of nightmares into your brain.”

“Then your dreams become littered with utterly terrifying sex monsters that are completely covered in semen,” a wide-eyed Warren said, “and they attack your lesbian lover Barb. Or, you know. Something… something crazy like that.”

Warren then handed out dreamcatcher supplies with her campaign manager Barbara Scissano while blasting the Indigo Girls’ Greatest Hits.

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