Tostitos Releases Extreme Mild Salsa For White People

YouReadyGrandma

Tostitos describes their new Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® as being a thick, gelatinous substance for those with genetic spice sensitivities.

Advertisements

After years of complaints from white people and a group called Whites Against Spicy Products (WASPs), Tostitos has apologized for any emotional damage caused by their so-called “mild salsa.”

“It’s like a sick racist joke what Tostitos has done to the white population over the years.” Director of WASPs Jeremy Weinstein stated. “Who in their right mind puts half a jalapeno in 12oz of salsa and calls it mild!?”

Tostitos describes their new Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® as being a thick, gelatinous substance for those with genetic spice sensitivities.

“Texturally, it’s very much like colorless Jell-O mixed with clear hair gel,” Frito-Lay CEO Vivek Sankaran stated. “It’s transparent to instill trust. When you look straight through our Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® you know is safe and delicious.”

“Be sure to try Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® today with Tostitos’ new Radical Plain Rice Cake Chips®. They’re overloaded with a sprinkle of salt.” Sankaran stated.

Return Home
Toss the Author $1
Publish an Article
Send News Tips
Take me to the MEMES!

Photo credit The Organic Dietician

Advertisements

Leave a Comment

Next Post

Tucker Carlson Forgets to Remove Klan Robe, Walks On to Set of Fox & Friends

"None of them seemed phased by Carlson. It was like the [expletive] Twilight Zone."
%d bloggers like this: