Joe Biden Caught on Tape Saying “Punch Her in the Taco”

Rumors of inappropriate advances and touching by former Vice President Joe Biden have been confirmed by a recording in which Biden exclaims “I’d like to punch her in the taco” while leering at a frail, 85 year old Senator Dianne Feinstein.

“Actually, not just the taco. I want to tongue punch her fartbox,” Biden concluded.

Previous reports said Biden had decided against announcing a Presidential run as allegations surfaced, but now that’s changed.

“Forget ‘grab her by the pussy’,” a Biden aid stated. “With this kind of footage Joe will steal a large portion of the Trump vote for sure!”

When reached for comment, the White House called the Biden tape ‘cute’ and said that President Trump had already been planning to sacrifice a virgin on the North Lawn this weekend.

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