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Trump Marries Kellyanne Conway, Calls Her Ex-Husband a [Expletive]-Faced Monkey-[Expletive]

A Twitter war with George Conway has led President Trump to steal George’s wife Kellyanne; breaking up an 18-year marriage.

The new couple had a brief ceremony yesterday, but neglected to sign any legal paperwork; making this Trump’s 4th fake marriage, but the first one that makes sense.

“Kellyanne isn’t much to look at, but this is the prettiest girl who’ll still fuck me,” Trump stated. “Leftover McDonald’s bags and KFC buckets over her head solve that problem,” the President tweeted and deleted.

Trump says he’s still in negotiations with Melania over their marriage contract, but “no matter what happens Melania and her body double have to take custody of Eric.”

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