Republican Bill Blocking Funding for Planned Parenthood Aborted on US Senate Floor

On Monday afternoon Senator Mitch McConnell (R - AL) had to make the tough decision of aborting a bill that he himself had co-sponsored. The bill, S.1881, would have effectively ended

On Monday Senator Mitch McConnell (R – AL) will have to make the tough decision to abort a bill that he himself had co-sponsored. The bill, S.1881, would have effectively ended Federal funding for Planned Parenthood.

“It’s very, very hard for me to do,” sobbed McConnell, “I mean, it was a viable document that could have come to life as a living and breathing law. But sadly, it became clear that we were just not ready to have the bill at this time.”

Main bill sponsor, Joni Ernst (R – IA), said that there were a few reasons why the legislation be terminated.

“Long story short, we didn’t have the resources or support to pass the bill,” Ernst stated. “There’s really no way this could have worked without there being two parties ready to take on the responsibility.”

Ernst also said that the bill would not have been introduced into the good environment that it would need to succeed.

From the far-left side of the isle, Senator Kamala Harris (D-CA) voiced her agreement while acting as the voice of most Democrats.

“We know it is hard for the Republicans to have to abort a bill right here on the Senate floor, but Democrats are truly supportive of the decision,” Harris stated. “We all admitted to ourselves that this was an unwanted bill which would have been much easier to nurture in the 1950s. Getting rid of the bill before it became a law was the only logical option.”

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On Monday afternoon Senator Mitch McConnell (R - AL) had to make the tough decision of aborting a bill that he himself had co-sponsored. The bill, S.1881, would have effectively ended
(Left) Republican Turtle “Mitch McConnell” and (right) white Republican guy in disguise “Joni Ernst.”

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