Victoria’s Secret: Cube-Shaped Bras and Breasts Are ‘Trend of The Future’

Move over convex, circular braziers – the cube-shaped bra is taking over.

High fashion has trickled down to commoners again with the highly-anticipated cubed bra. Victoria’s Secret CEO Jan Singer offered more details at the unveiling of their new line of cubed bras called “Sqoobz.”

“We’re moving from the tired, old form-fitting breast cups to something fresh and original.” Singer stated.

“Sqoobz aren’t comfortable to wear by any means. Your tits will be flopping around in there,” Singer confirmed. “But hetro men and lesbians will now have a legitimate excuse to ogle your square melons, or even place a drink on your Snuggle shelves while they talk to you.”

Scientists predict that, over time, women’s breasts will be permanently molded into cubes; physically altering the female body for generations to come.

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