As President Trump’s motorcade was leaving Opelika, Alabama it was nearly struck by 27 vehicles over a 7 mile stretch of road.
“It was madness!” Trump shouted “We’re going down Interstate 85 and all of a sudden… Crash! Crash! Crash! Like one every 3 seconds!” a wide-eyed Trump paused. “Wow! Is this what it feels like to not exaggerate!? Anyway, you’ve got some bad drivers down here in Opelika!”
In total, eight government vehicles were destroyed and several others were damaged. Sarah Sanders addressed the press today on the matter.
“We’ve confirmed that this series of unfortunate events was caused by the inclement 74-degree, overwhelmingly sunny weather,” Sanders said before turning and looking directly at into the camera. “This has nothing to do with who the President is as a person. I think he is a great person. Everyone loves you Mr. President.”