President Trump has invited all liberal Americans to a 4th of July celebration in the nation’s capital. He announced his event via Twitter saying it will be entitled “A Salute to Liberal America” and be held at the Lincoln Memorial.
“HOLD THE DATE! We will be having one of the largest gatherings in the history of Washington State,” Trump wrote. “There will be a rainbow of fireworks, the best drag queens – only the best – and the first ever reading of the US Constitution by your favorite President, me!”
Political experts are warning that the combination of exclusion, booming rainbow fireworks, vivacious drag queens, and a word-for-word reading of the constitution will enrage Trump’s supporters.
Johns Hopkins Political Science Professor Danny Dunleavy shared his predictions.
“I bet my left testicle that the day’s headlines will read: ‘Red Hats Protest Trump’s Reading of US Constitution as Drag Queens Look On’,” Dunleavy stated. “$500 bucks says he reads to Lincoln’s statue while sitting on its lap.”