Senator Cory Booker & Elmo Remind Americans: “Despite Incredibly Hot Beard, Ted Cruz is Still a Douche”

Presidential candidate Cory Booker and “his little buddy Elmo” took to the US Senate floor today to remind American citizens that regardless of his new look, Ted Cruz is still a douche. Booker’s 15 minute ventriloquism act included a perfectly performed impersonation of Sesame Street’s best-known character.

“Elmo wants everyone to know that despite his rugged and incredibly fucking hot beard, that Ted Cruz is still a douche,” Booker stated.

“Elmo also thinks that you should remember that even though Ted Cruz has bulked up; and maybe Elmo wonders what Ted Cruz would look like all soapy and wet, underneath it all Ted Cruz remains the same whiny bitch. Elmo… Elmo is confused,” Booker concluded.

Senator Booker says that he intends to bring Elmo along on the campaign trail for his 2020 presidential bid to help him work through his feelings.

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Photo Credit Peabody Awards

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