Democrats Are Lobbying Melania Trump to Have Sex With the President

Desperate to find any common ground before another government shutdown begins, high profile Democrats have been trying to persuade Melania Trump to bring the president to orgasm.

“There’s many benefits to having regular orgasms,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stated. “There’s the improved mood and self-image, it’s a dramatic stress release, and perhaps most importantly in this case: the improved cognitive functions.”

While a deal between Melania and the Democrats is still not solidified, the First Lady has been “much more receptive” after learning about the increased risk of heart attack that comes with the coupling of obesity and sex.

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