Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address

It’s a tradition for politicians to invite citizens impacted by presidential policy to the State of The Union address for the purpose of ridicule. Indeed, Republicans and Democrats alike shamelessly implement this “hey, I have a black friend too” approach. But why hasn’t it ever worked?

This year the Democrats are testing a theory that gained support in the past few months: What if Trump has no understanding of object permanence?

Senator Elizabeth Warren explained how she plans to test the president.

“This time I’m not just bringing a common human to use as a political prop,” Warren stated. “Instead I’m going to be shuffling furloughed federal worker Sajid Shahriar around throughout the president’s speech.”

“Now when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and back into view. I’m guessing that President Trump will be shocked,” Warren grinned confidently.

If the object permanence theory proves to be true, it’s likely we will see Democrats instructing large groups of people to follow the president everywhere he goes, all depending on what issue is being pushed that day.

Experts predict that Trump will be swarmed by crowds of immigrants, armed transgendered troops, angry government workers and more; resulting in sweeping change across American politics via a simple reminder that other people exist and probably matter too.

Return Home

Take me to the MEMES!

*Object permanence is the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be perceived (seen, heard, touched, smelled or sensed in any way).

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