Desperate, Unpaid Government Employees Shift to Sex Work, Drug Trafficking


“Handies start at $18 and prices go up from there.”

With the extended government shutdown, unpaid employees have begun trying their hand at sex work and dealing drugs to pay their bills.

One example is seen in the hundreds of employees in Rocky Mountain National Park System who have been returning to work daily to offer illicit drugs and sexual gratification to the disappointed visitors who are being turned away.

National Parks Service Director Dan Smith

“When you are told you can’t see a national treasure such as Glacier Gorge or Bear Lake, the least we can offer is a handjob or fingerblast for the regular price of admission,” National Parks Service Director Dan Smith stated.

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