Viagra Ends Trump Sponsorship Deal

“The president had been taking Viagra six times a day – one pill with every meal.” – Rudy Giuliani


Mexico Agrees to Build Wall, Trump Will Permit Underground Tunnels

“I make great deals, okay? This deal is really phenomenal on the surface. It’s a wonderful, superficial deal,” Trump said.

US Health & Human Services Encourages Bulimia Over Anorexia

“If you are going to pick one, pick bulimia. That’s all we’re saying here.”

Melania Trump Had Secret Meeting With Divorce Lawyers Regarding Russian Adoptions

Melania’s emails have been released to the public in an act of transparency.

Dole Recalls 27 Million Bananas for Having Penis DNA

Banana sales have increased by 27% in the United States.

White Americans Will Be Allowed ‘JUST ONE’ 911 Call Per Year

“It really comes down to time and resources.”

An iRobot Roomba 690 Robot Vacuum with Wi-Fi Connectivity has Been Running the Country since late 2017


“The first idea that it runs into is the decision that we go with.” – Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross

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