Senate Republicans Hire Hooters to Cater Kavanaugh Hearing

“I just don’t see the problem here.” – Senator McConnell

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Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight

“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani

National Association of Funeral Directors Says Photos of Dead are ‘On Fleek’

“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”

Tomorrow is National Insurance Fraud Day!

“If enough of us do it, they can’t catch us all.”

Trump Threatens Italy as Florence Strikes Coast

“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.”

Study: Millennials are the First Generation to Not View Pornography for the Plot Line

“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies

FDA Approves iPhone Birth Control App

“It will sound like an airplane is taking off inside of the user’s vagina,” iBort creator Justin Swartzky stated.

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