Mitch McConnell Legally Changes Name to ‘Bitch McConnell’


“Let’s just admit it, Mitch is such a basic bitch name.” – Senator Bitch McConnell


Chef Starts Cannibalism Diet Trend Across United States


Garten has been raising her own humans for consumption in a coop next to her garden.

Columbus Day: Exxon Discovers, Spills Oil on Native American Land


Dawn has sent 5,500 bottles of soap to help clean thousands of Native Americans who are now covered in oil.

Kavanaugh to Be Moved to Top of Liver Transplant List if Confirmed


“Kavanaugh needs a liver by Christmas and the Democrats don’t give a lick!” – Senator Lindsey Graham

#Kavanaugh #FBIReport #SupremeCourt

Trump: ‘I’m Sending Every Tweet Through the Presidential Alert System From Now On’


Presidential Alerts cannot be turned off on mobile phones.

Tofurky Releases Trophy-Hunt Lion Steak, More Options


“We’re trying to attract more meat-eaters by selling a diverse selection of what we are pretty sure they like to eat,”

Sexual Predator Could be 2nd Alien on Supreme Court


“The investigation is not meant to be a space expedition. Unfortunately, we don’t have a Space Force yet.” – Kellyanne Conway

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