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Banned Bump Stocks Will Be Recycled as Sex Toys, Justice Department Says

After banning bump stocks the US Justice Department says that the equipment will not go to waste as they’ll be implementing a recycling program.

Attorney General Matthew Whitaker explained the initiative.

“All bump stock owners will be given 90 days to either turn in or destroy their bump stocks,” Whitaker stated. “We do strongly prefer that they be handed over as they’ll be repurposed as thrusting devices in sex toys.”

“By outfitting dildos, strap-ons, and large-scale sex machines users will be able to initiate a continuous fuck cycle with a single pull of the trigger,” Whitaker explained. “Additionally, bump stock owners will be given the option to have the retrofitted dildos returned to them, so anyone upset by this can literally go fuck themselves.”

Whitaker estimates that the rapid, powerful force of the new bump stock dildos should be able to get 50 to 60 people off in under five minutes. For those interested, the first bump stock dildo to release to the public will be a gas-operated toy called The Ass Killer – or AK-47 – a 47 inch device for experts. No release date has been set.

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