US Announces ‘Whale Force’ Military Division

YouReadyGrandma

“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.”

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Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March

YouReadyGrandma

“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”

Heartbroken Ford Owners Euthanize 874,000 Shitty Pickup Trucks

YouReadyGrandma

Mass graves are filling up outside of the Ford Truck Plant in Dearborn, MI.

4 in 5 Men Think Masturbating With Another Man ‘Isn’t Gay’

YouReadyGrandma

A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy is their real issue – not the dick. What do you think? Joshua O’brien: “If this is true, then not only was I snubbed on an invite to Tim’s bachelor party last week, but I probably missed an opportunity to bond with the bros over a sweet circle jerk. No..no homo.” Rosalie Pruitt: “So you’re saying the next time I see a group of hot guy friends at a bar, it’s not even remotely unrealistic later when I fantasize about them getting it on? There is a God.” Logan Allen: “I don’t know why other straight dudes want to complicate their close, disappointingly platonic relationships with their homeboys when there’s at least two perfectly good gay bathhouses in the Denver area.” Return Home Take me to the MEMES! Source

Surgeon Gives Justice Ginsburg 3rd Lung to ‘Allow for Epic Bong Rips’

YouReadyGrandma

Ginsburg is maintaining a steady high with edibles from Senator Sanders until her new lung is healed.

Banned Bump Stocks Will Be Recycled as Sex Toys, Justice Department Says

YouReadyGrandma

“We do strongly prefer that they be handed over as they’ll be repurposed as thrusting devices in sex toys.”

Mueller: Gay Tryst, Pee Tape Emerged From Investigation

YouReadyGrandma

Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’

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