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Trail of Korean Water Ghosts is Closing in on America

The White House says that Korean Water Ghosts have been marching the 8,600 miles across the Pacific Ocean from the Koreas and are headed straight to Costa Rica.

“From here they are joining immigrants from other countries as they trek 3,750 miles north to the US border where they are hoping to get in,” Sarah Huckabee Sanders stated in a press conference.

“If all of this goes according to their godless plan, the Korean Water Ghosts will force us to follow their cultural ways or be killed.”

The White House says that common Korean Water Ghost traditions Americans would be required to follow include:

Loud shrieking, moving objects for attention, basket weaving, being transparent, wearing tons of makeup, guttural prolonged groans, ballet, floating mid-air, and elaboratly-planned yet convoluted trips to foreign countries.

Trump further clarified the potential threat in front of cameras today.

“There’s no proof of anything. But there could very well be,” Trump said in remarks in the Oval Office this morning.

Trump estimates that at their current speeds the “Korean Water Ghosts should arrive in 10 years – or not at all,” adding that “either way everything is very scary right now and Democrats don’t care.”

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