Chef Starts Cannibalism Diet Trend Across United States

Ask your friends and you’ll quickly discover that around 3/4ths of them would be curious to try eating human meat. TV personality and chef Ina Garten (The Barefoot Contessa) is pushing to scratch that itch by normalizing cannibalism.

The celebrity chef announced on Tuesday morning that she has been raising her own humans for consumption in a coop next to her garden.

“If you can’t have an at-home human coop you should at least try to source your meat locally,” Garten stated. “But I get that some tasty-looking people don’t have the time or space to raise their own humans for consumption.”

Garten suggests sourcing in other ways.

“Unattended babies and children make for great veal cutlets or human parm patties” the chef said. “Homeless people are the perfect texture for turkey – the easy part is that nobody notices they’re missing – ramming cranberries and stuffing up their rectums is the real battle.”

Garten strongly encourages Americans to not miss out on the chance to try grass-fed vegan burgers, but says that Honey-glazed BBQ ribs with finger fries remains her favorite.

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