Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh has made the bold move of becoming an ordained priest in the Catholic Church. The new title means that he no longer has to worry about any past sexual wrongdoings.

“Father Kavanaugh will now have the full protection of the Catholic Church,” Pope Francis stated. “Thus, he cannot be held accountable for sexual indiscretions.”

Francis also suggested that Ruth Bader Ginsburg, “the sexiest female on the court,” be moved over to the first seat of the bench while Father Kavanaugh be placed “on the opposite end.”

“Should any unwanted sexual advances occur, simply shuffle Kavanaugh to another seat and everything should be fine,” Francis concluded.

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