Tofurky Releases Trophy-Hunt Lion Steak, More Options

“We’re trying to attract more meat-eaters by selling a diverse selection of what we are pretty sure they like to eat,”

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Sexual Predator Could be 2nd Alien on Supreme Court

“The investigation is not meant to be a space expedition. Unfortunately, we don’t have a Space Force yet.” – Kellyanne Conway

Senate Republicans Hire Hooters to Cater Kavanaugh Hearing

“I just don’t see the problem here.” – Senator McConnell

Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight

“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani

National Association of Funeral Directors Says Photos of Dead are ‘On Fleek’

“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.”

Tomorrow is National Insurance Fraud Day!

“If enough of us do it, they can’t catch us all.”

Trump Threatens Italy as Florence Strikes Coast

“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.”

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