Dole Recalls 27 Million Bananas for Having Penis DNA


Banana sales have increased by 27% in the United States.

Dole is recalling nearly 27 million bananas after discovering that genetically modified seeds had retained a researcher’s penile DNA which contaminated the product during a laboratory incident involving lewd acts between a scientist and a lab rat.

Dole Recalls 27 Million Bananas for Having Penis DNA 2The bananas in question primarily grew in Costa Rica and Guatemala and have already been sold in grocery stores across 37 states. This DNA fiasco occurs just 3 months after a shipment of 1.2 million bananas from Columbia to San Diego were discovered to have been laced with cocaine.

Dole says that consumers can tell if they have purchased a penis banana if, when peeled, the banana looks like a dick.

“Technically, consumers who have eaten these bananas have – in every practical sense – eaten a human penis,” Dole Chairman and CEO David H. Murdock said.

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