In a strong sign of solidarity, Trump supporters are now wearing a pungent perfume that was released by the president. The unisex scent named ‘MAGA’ is being touted as ‘The Essence of Patriotism.’
You’ll know that a Trump supporter is nearby because you will smell an overwhelming scent similar to that of old urine, but somehow much much worse. The $299 MAGA perfume is described as having a “striking, musty, and vinegar-like odor that fills a room in seconds and lingers for far too long.”
World famous perfume expert Chandler Berns says that there are pros and cons to the product.
“You may not like that a Trump supporter is in your presence, but that horrid odor permeates out at least 50 feet from the wearer. So at least you are warned that a moron is approaching and you can avoid conversation,” Berns stated.
The president announced the release of MAGA in the White House State Dining Room at an official event that was open to the press.
“We made MAGA with some of my favorites,” Trump said. “There’s money in there. Alright? Liquefied $100 bills. We have 100% pure Colombian cocaine, Paul Mitchell extra-firm hold hairspray, KFC’s Finger Lickin’ Good™ sauce and Tom Ford bronzer. It’s all in there folks. Gotta love it. Gotta love the bronzer. And of course, there’s a secret ingredient – but a smart business man never tells, does he? No he doesn’t. No way.” Trump said, pausing for applause.
“It’s silicone! You know, the stuff from breast implants,” Trump said. “Only from D cups and up. The finest. Only the biggest and finest for my fans.”
The MAGA bottle is packaged in a case emblazoned with a copper engraving of Colin Kaepernick. The football player is depicted standing in front of a towering American flag; respectfully holding his right hand over his heart.
***UPDATE: MAGA perfume sold out within an hour of being placed on the shelves of every Hobby Lobby across the U.S., proving once again that Trump supporters will buy anything the president tells them to.***