Target Adds BDSM Section Next to Electronics

No stranger to trying new – and often liberal – things (See their removal of Gender Labels), Target is moving forward on a decision to introduce a BDSM (Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism) section in all store locations. The large selection of BDSM products will be found adjacent to the electronics department.

“Adults shopping at Target will no longer have to make an additional stop at a nearby ‘adult book store’ while running errands,” said CEO Brian Cornell. “We’ve got all of their ball gags, handcuffs, swings, harnesses, cock rings, anal beads, diapers, and my favorite: huge butt plugs.”

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Standing 14″ tall and with a 6″ diameter at its widest, the Target Supreme Anal Shocker will be given away to every guest who purchases over $200 in Target merchandise before the end of July.

Cornell says that the goal is to normalize common adult kinks and make sex and sexuality a more public and open point of conversation within our ‘prude and overprotected society’.

“This directly addresses all of those snowflakes who are afraid to talk about sex. By starting the conversation aggressively in a more public space, Americans will become more honest and open about sex, sexual education, and hardcore sexual domination,” Cornell said while rubbing his ‘itchy nipples’.

Target representatives said that placing the BDSM section next to electronics was ‘an easy and logical decision’ as they will be stocking remote control vibrators and electro-shock sex toys on the bordering end caps with the large batteries needed to power the new products.

“We have started stocking batteries and power sources that range from 12 volts up to the $899 Yamaha EF2000iS – a 44lb portable generator with a 120 volt maximum and 10.5 hours of continuous performance,” Cornell added.

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Target will offer 50% cash back to any customer who can outlast the Yamaha EF2000iS generator while partaking in intense, prolonged coitus.

In response to Target’s move, Sam’s Club has already announced plans to introduce their own BDSM section where customers can buy sex toys in bulk.

“We’re going to do Target one better,” Sam’s Club CEO John Furer said. “Shoppers who come to our many wonderful Sam’s Club store locations will be able to walk out with every item necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon in their own basement.”

In a press release Target stated that it is open to feedback and suggestions from customers.

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