Neil Degrasse Tyson is Donating Sperm in Massive Quantities

Tyson offered a confusingly graphic, yet scientific explanation.

Starbucks is Opening Separate Restrooms for Black Customers


“Overall, we just want to make everyone feel more welcome and safe at Starbucks.”

President Trump Has Strangled a Bear Cub to Death on the North Lawn


This was a direct response to outcry from PETA regarding changes in Alaskan hunting regulations which would…

Uber Eats Now Offers Pre-Chewed Meals


Customers can choose from: Careful Crunch, Medium Munch, or Gnarly Gnaw.

Nearly Half of Boy Scouts Become Forest-Dwelling Socialists

It is not uncommon for Bear Cubs (scouts as young as 8 or 9 years old) to leave their families for a better life in the forest.

Pope Asks all Catholics to Pray Before Oral Intercourse


“We should always be looking up to God before going down to worship,” said Francis.

U.S. Veterans to Get Lifetime Supply of Gasoline


‘The number of homeless veterans wheeling hundreds of gallons of gasoline through bustling urban centers could be a huge safety problem.’

%d bloggers like this: