Trump Signs ‘Paperless Earth’ Green Initiative Into Law

In a late-Friday night move, President Donald Trump has signed a Green Initiative into law with a goal of making the whole planet paperless by 2030.

“Everyone says we need to ‘go paperless’ okay? But nobody does it. Right? It’s all talk with these people. All talk,” said the president.

“So I said to myself, out loud, ‘someone’s gotta do it, Donald’. And I’m right. Right? I’m right. Someone’s gotta’ folks, someone’s gotta – so why not let that someone be me?”

The new law orders that states remove and burn all trees by 2030 to prevent humans from making more paper products. Trump, who will by then have been president for 14 years, would then launch nuclear warheads at any areas of the United States and the parts of the rest of the planet that have not yet complied.

Former President George W. Bush has made a painting of what the world will definitely look like in just 13 years:

Signed “Sincerely George B” this rendering by the 43rd President of the United States is entitled ‘Not During My Presidency, Somehow’.

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