Trump’s High School Revokes GED

The NY Military Academy has revoked president Donald Trumps high school diploma in a 5-2 council vote. The motion was passed after a discussion of the specific competencies needed to complete kindergarten through the 12th grade.

“There are simple, straightforward requirements that need to be met in order to be awarded a GED,” stated the Academy’s president Juan Zhangsi, “And, unfortunately, it has become glaringly apparent that Donald Trump does not meet the majority of these.”

The school, in a written release, cited specific areas in which the leader of the free world has fallen unfathomably short:

Trumps High School Revokes GED.pngEnglish Language: “We estimate that the president completely stopped caring about the English language at, or around, the 4th grade.  His infantile understanding of the most basic usage of words is readily apparent in each and every public statement he has ever made.”

Social Studies: “The president’s ineptitude in the areas of history, geography, and political science is remarkable. His grasp on the political process and the notion of ‘checks and balances’ is all but nonexistent.

In regard to history, a comprehensive list of examples in which Donald has shown severe ignorance would have taken far too long to compile. In lieu of delineating every inaccuracy, we have summarized this concept into one phrase: He refuses to denounce Nazism.

Trump Geography Puerto Rico.pngFinally, on the topic of geography, which includes the study of lands, features, and their inhabitants, we cite the following:

The time that the president called Belgium ‘a beautiful city,’ the instance that he said he ‘never knew we had so many countries’ until he became president, and the odd claim that he ‘met with the President of the Virgin Islands’ – which wouldn’t be the first time that he didn’t understand how to ‘look in the mirror’.

Mathematics: Donald’s recently proposed budget had a $2,000,000,000,000 (2 trillion dollar) mistake which the former Treasury Secretary Lawrence Summers called “the oversight an elementary double count and a logical error of the kind that would justify failing a student in an introductory economics course.”

The president likely believes that he could cover the difference with part of his claimed $3.5 billion in wealth.

Donald Trump Hairspray Ozone Climate Change.png

The president denies that climate change is real. This leaves him, as a fact denier, in the company of less than 5% of scientists across the globe. We cite his own words and obsession with hairspray here:

“Wait a minute. So if I take hairspray and if I spray it in my apartment, which is all sealed, you’re telling me that affects the ozone layer? I say, no way, folks. No way!”

In 2011, Donald also maintained that the “eight-inch concrete floors” and “eight-inch concrete walls” in Trump Tower would have no problem stopping hairspray from “destroying the ozone that’s 400 miles up in the air.”

This suggests that Mr. Trump never surpassed a 7th-grade-level understanding of chemistry. Notably, the Earth’s ozone layer begins around 6 to 10 miles above it’s surface.

Finally, when it comes to Health and Physical Education you simply have to look at him, his sexual habits, and his diet.

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