‘Months of Pegging’ Needed for Brady to Overcome Super Bowl Loss

After the devastating 41-33 loss to the Philidelphia Eagles in Super Bowl 52, Tom Brady’s wife Gisele Bündchen says she will have to peg him back to his normal self.

Seen chugging glass after glass of red wine while the Patriots trailed during the 3rd quarter – Bündchen was trying to drown her sorrows as she began to realize that she might have to start ‘pounding her husband’s ass again’.'Months of Pegging' Needed for Brady to Overcome Super Bowl Loss.png

“It was a very good year for him overall,” stated Bündchen. “They did so well that I only had to punch Tom in the starfish 3 times, but that’s all changed now.”

She went on to explain Brady’s grieving process.

“When my Thomas gets down, the only thing that will make him come back around is grabbing one of our strap-ons from the S&M chest and just going to town on his cornhole,” said Bündchen.

“The last time that Tom was this upset was after the 31-0 loss to the Bills in 2003. It’s safe to say that I had to take him to 5th base for several weeks before he was over dancing the chocolate cha-cha,” Bündchen added.

Bündchen predicts that she will have to ‘ride Tom’s Hershey highway’ for the better part of a year now before he starts to feel better and can go back to sexually harassing his teammates in the locker room.

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