The First Family’s incredibly lifelike animatronic son, Barron Trump, was returned to the Advanced Telecommunications Research Institute (ATRI) in Suita, Japan after a series of dangerous malfunctions that put the president’s life at risk.
Sources inside of the White House say that Barron – an AX-570 android whose programming was developed at Osaka University – began to show signs of sentience as he spent more and more time with his adoptive owner – president Trump.
“As the AX-570, referred to as Barron, appeared to grow in its capacity to feel, perceive, and experience subjectivity, the android’s aggression toward president Trump grew incrementally,” stated head ATRI researcher Kaito Nakamura.
The White House declined give details on the attacks, but did reveal that the hostilities with his animatronic son left president Trump with severe PTSD. Since then, the president has been left with an inability to trust people, because ‘anyone could be a robot’.
“As the president’s mania escalated, he began mistrusting entire organizations, thinking that they were run by evil robots,” said a staffer. “This is where the use of the term ‘fake news’ really took off with Donald.
In an attempt to save his presidency, cabinet members forced a paranoid Trump to restrain himself from accusing personnel of the White House press corps of being ‘villainous droids from hell forged by Satan himself’ – signalling the first time that the president has ever shown self-restraint. Now, every time the president wants to accuse people of being robots, he just shouts out ‘Fake News!’.
“Donald’s frenzied and pervasive desire to avoid androids is the origin of his denial that Russian bots were meddling in the 2016 election,” said the staffer.
Going forward, many are waiting to see if president Trump becomes suspicious of the cabinet members he surrounded himself with – as a lack of empathy, shame, and self-awareness are all common characteristics found in robots.
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