In a halftime interview during the Pro Bowl, Tom Brady brazenly stated that he “plans to cheat again” during the Super Bowl, and that, “the whole team, including coaches, started the cheating process much, much earlier this year.”
In fact, the Patriots began laying out their approach for stealing Super Bowl LLI from the Philadelphia Eagles during their last game against the Jacksonville Jaguars – who they also knocked-off by cheating.
“We began focusing on how we would swindle the Eagles or Vikings when we knew – for certain – that we were going to beat the Jaguars,” stated Brady.
When reached for comment, head coach Bill Belichick gave his 2-cents, “I wouldn’t necessarily call it cheating. That’s not the correct wording,” said Bilichick. “All we are doing is exactly what we have done in the past. As far as we see it, we’ll take another slap on the wrist if it means taking home another championship ring.”
Bilichick went on to say that they will be using “all the tricks in the book” that the Patriots had used in previous games – “and then some”.
“We’re going to see how far the NFL will let us go this time,” said Bilichick, “We want to push the cheating boundaries past the breaking point.”
Some tactics that the Patriots will use to win include, but are not limited to: ball inflation or deflation, filming of the Eagles’ practices, the planting of recording devices in the Eagle’s locker room and bench areas, and hacking into the opponent’s communication systems during the game.
Brady also added that he “went ahead and pre-destroyed (his) cell phone and personally paid off all of the referees.”
Patriots fans are encouraged to send cheating suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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