Rush Limbaugh has Been Missing for an Entire Year

Today marks the one year anniversary of when famous radio shock jock and conservative hero Rush Limbaugh went missing. While some fear that he may still be alive, others haven’t even noticed his disappearance.

After limited research, it was very apparent that Premiere Networks – which broadcasts ‘The Rush Limbaugh Show’ – had simply filled the time slot void with looped pre-recordings of his various asinine rants and tirades.

“We’ve honestly just been playing collections of Rush’s classics that cover important topics from the past 20 years. It’s really just the basic things that his unthinking fan base jizzes over,” remarked Julie Talbott, president of Premier Networks.

“It’s absolutely all still there for regular listeners who fucking love and need an echo chamber of affirmation,” added Talbott.

She then continued on by explaining the usual daily process that Premier follows in order to please those who tune in:

“Overt racism and class warfare soundbites typically start the show, then we move on to the essential misogyny – which easily slides into homophobia – and inevitably Christianity and Islamic terrorism. Finally, we often finish with clips that tell listeners to be afraid of who is peeing next to them in public restrooms,” concluded Talbott.

Today, approximately only 5% of regular listeners have noticed that ‘The Rush Limbaugh Show’ has been re-using old material.

When asked for an update on the search for Rush, the Palm Beach Chief of Police – Margaret Sanders – stated that, “Mr. Limbaugh is missing and possibly dead, but no one seems to notice or care. We haven’t even tried looking for him, but one time there was a reported sighting which ended up being a bouncy house at a kid’s birthday party that was spewing hot air.

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