North Korea aired a short video just before midnight Pyonyang Time in which Kim Jong-un called Donald Trump “Despicable human scum, who is worse than a dog, who has perpetrated thrice-cursed acts of treachery and betrayal of profound trust and my warmest paternal love. He has grabbed North Korea’s pussy for the last time!”
The North Korean leader then flipped open a glass-encased red button, pressed it, and was immediately torn apart – along with the rest of his country – by a faulty nuclear missile.
The weapon – which was aimed directly at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Resort – reportedly encountered a GPS targeting malfunction caused by hurricanes Irma, Jose, and Katia and immediately detonated.
Tweeting in response to the event, Donald Trump thanked both climate change and the late Kim Jong-un for “not attacking America or causing any tragic, innocent deaths.”
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