Jay Cutler Agrees to Ruin Dolpins’ 2017 Season for $10 Million

Former Chicago Bears’ quarterback Jay Cutler has come out of retirement after canceling a sportscaster contract with FOX. The news comes in the wake of Dolphin’s starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill’s knee injury during practice on Thursday.

With Tannehill likely out for the year, an opening was created for Culter to come in and really disappoint Miami fans into a deep depression for the entire 2017 NFL season.

“Although I was enjoying the idea of being an awful TV sports personality, I really did miss letting a team and hundreds of thousands of fans down on a weekly basis,” stated Cutler. “I honestly can’t wait to fuck this season up.”

Screen Shot 2017-08-06 at 11.33.08 PM
“Jay will be paid $10 million dollars to act like a little bitch on television.” – Miami Dolphins Head Coach Adam Gase
[Photo by Mike Morbeck, no endorsement implied]
Dolphins fans acknowledge that Cutler will bring his below-average career passer rating and likely play like complete shit for several games; yet, there is a silver lining as he will inevitably suffer a slightly painful thumb sprain and sit out for 3 games.

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