A Furious, Confused Sarah Palin Lashes Out at Black Lives Matter

(Miami, FL) Not known for being quiet on many political matters, former Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin has spoken up again – this time regarding the Black Lives Matter movement. Her comments have left many angry, hurt, and confused.

Palin set the stage for her speech late Monday afternoon by clearly stating, “Look, I’m not politically correct. I am not one to be a word police. But I do, however, proudly stand behind our proud men and handful of women in uniform.”

She then continued on.

“Some people say, ya know, that I’m redundant, repetitive, and that I repeat stuff,” said Palin. “Well ya know what? To them I say that’s only because I’m consistent, I stick to my story, and I never change what I’m saying. So I won’t apologize for it!”

“So today we discuss what was going on in the African parts of America,” stated Palin while wildly gesticulating with her hands. “And never, ever did I talk about, Well, gee, is this a country or is it a continent? I just don’t know about this part of the issue.”

“Heck, I don’t know if I should be calling them Black Americans or Negroes, or… whatever… America is such a melting pot. It’s beautiful. I love the diversity,” Palin remarked. “Yeah. There are a whole bunch of guys named Kobe or Shaquille, I know that. The names don’t bother me, but I’ll be damned if I have to learn to spell them! Because in America, we speak English!”

Palin paused and glanced out at the visibly shocked crowd, and then went on.

“Obviously black people love sports, and that’s why their babies are born during the basketball season, and football, and for those Kenyan blacks – the spring track season,” said Palin, while making a running motion with her fists clenched.

“And when the American people elected that ‘hopey changey’ President Obama they gave him responsibility to handle this disaster. He promised to ‘heal the earth, and watch the waters recede…’ or something far-fetched like that. So this is all really his fault.”

“Going further, ya know, I didn’t believe the theory that human beings – thinking, loving beings – originated from fish that sprouted legs and crawled out of the sea. Or that human beings began as single-celled organisms that developed into monkeys who eventually swung down from the trees. But this movement makes me question that last one. The monkey one.”

“You looked back at the Ground Zero Mosque supporters and you see the parallels now. Doesn’t it stab you in the heart America? Just as it does ours throughout the heartland? Just like that one famous black rapper and candy enthusiast Eminems says in that great jam of his: ‘Peaceful dark people, please stand up. Please stand up. Please stand up!’.”

“And then we get to talking about the gun issues. There isn’t really a gun issue. I’m all for the 2nd Amendment but, of course, it wouldn’t be the be-all, end-all if we agreed that too many people have guns and if we let the blacks be the first to try not having them. See how that goes, ya know?”

At this point, nearly half of the crowd had left, while the others were intently making sure to film her speech on their cellphones. Palin continued.

“They’re not protesters, these are thugs. They’re rioters. And yeah, I’m calling out the liberal media, like Fox News.”

Palin then concluded her speech by stating, “As the Black Lives Matter movement deal rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where – just where will they eventually go? You betcha! It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border,” she remarked while pointing Southeast.

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