Majority of Atheists in Middle East Converting to Islam

The reports of rampant ISIS terrorism and destruction in the Middle East has left many many living in the area with a choice – convert to Islam or die. It appears that nearly every atheist is taking the easy route and pretending to believe in the Islamic faith.

One new ISIS “recruit” – Jabir Abdullah – told us that the choice was simple for him.

“When our city was taken over by ISIS, they lined up people of various faiths… Christians, Jews, et cetera… they made us kneel down on the ground,” stated Abdullah who gave a fake name for anonymity. “Then one-by-one we had to make the choice of staying alive and following radical Islam or being shot in the back of the head. It really was literally a no brainer for everyone – regardless of your decision.”

Indeed, Abdullah spared his life by pretending to want to become a part of the radical sect of this Islamic faith, while many others held on to their personal convictions and perished. Additionally, a handful of atheists that Abdullah knew decided to take the shot in the head, instead of live on.

“It was sad – devastating even,” said Abdullah. “But I understood my fellow atheist friends’ decisions to die because, in all honesty, we’re all tired of religion.”

Abdullah said that he chose to live and pretend to be a follower of radical Islam in order to later find an escape route.

“It was self-preservation,” stated Abdullah.” I still see a lot of beauty in the world and want to see and do a lot of things before I die. So I figured I’ll wait for my opportunity to escape. I mean… even if you are religious and ‘God’ knows your every thought, then why are you choosing death?”

Here is where we had to cut the interview short as members of ISIS descended upon the area.

***Recording transmission from Jabir Abdullah’s microphone***

“ALLAHU AKBAR!!!”

“Indeed, Allahu Akbar!!!”

“Let’s go pour acid on little girls’ faces who just want to learn.”

“No No. Then how will we have sex with them without being grossed out?!?”

“That’s what the burkah is for, idiot!”

“Oh, you’re right Achmed!”

“Well, see you around. Death to America!”

“Yup Death to America. Later bruh.”

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Majority of Atheists in Middle East Converting to Islam

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