New Samsung Phone Screen Will Cover Entire Surface, and More

Essentially, the screen will intuitively “follow” the assigned user who will have a locator chip implanted in…

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Your Accurate Horoscope For Today

“Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21) – You are feeling ecstatic and delighted inside – creating a real impact on those around you. Just go along with your…”

Tom Brady Announces Retirement

Brady revealed that he was “very hurt” by the NFL’s decision to ban him for 4 games. Further, the release stated that he “couldn’t stand to see his team slighted like this” – referring to the lost draft picks and $1 million fine.

Congress Passes Unprecedented Gun Control Law

On a day when another mass shooting took place in the U.S. and Colorado movie theater shooter James Holmes was convicted of mass murder, the U.S. Congress has finally taken action on gun control. With a shocking number of Republican Party supporters, the new law has been enacted immediately. The late night D.C. vote came…

Breaking: Pope Francis Admits to Marijuana Usage

The Pope’s admission of cannabis usage understandably resulted in many follow-up questions. Lauren Green, Chief Religion Correspondent for the Fox News Channel, asked Pope Francis why he felt that he was “in any position to speak against so-called ‘modern capitalism’.”

BREAKING NEWS: 4th of July Stunner

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that people are gearing up for the Fourth of July by doing the exact same type of shit that they did last year. The grills are out, the beer is somewhat cold, Grandma just shit in the pool, and nobody is watching the kids. Your creepy uncle…