Supreme Court Justice Didn’t Know Marriage Can’t Legally Involve Churches or Religion

The awkward exchange began when Chief Justice Roberts asked famed gay rights lawyer Mary Bonauto why she believed that we should “force churches and religious leaders to preside over a homosexual wedding that, when taken as a whole, would offend their moral conscience.”

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Tim Tebow Changes Mind – Philadelphia Eagles to Pay Him in Prayer

In a new, bizarre revelation the deal that the Philadelphia Eagles made with former NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has been adjusted once more at Tebow’s request. What was initially a $0 guarantee if he were cut from the team has now turned into one big ZERO – no matter what.

Obama Hits Milestone with 1000th Utterance of “Let me be clear”

Today, the polling organization Gallup announced that President Barack Obama has officially uttered the phrase “let me be clear,” for the 1,000th time in a televised speech. Gallup Poll, which is known for their unbiased, informative polls is now facing criticism from many on the left for even monitoring such a fact. Keith Olbermann took…

Cher Pens Deal With Facebook: Get Ready for ‘Big Changes’

“After listening to Cher’s pitch we had a meeting of the minds at Facebook headquarters,” stated Zuckerberg. “The adjustments we are slated to make will not change the user experience overall, but simply help Cher to increase her marketability. The move was a no-brainer on the whole.”

Harvard Study Reveals that All Homophobic People are Gay

“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”

Scott Walker Believes Only Thing Between Him & Presidency is Dog Allergies

“I think I can let my track record speak for itself,” stated Walker. “Yet, I know that there haven’t been any worthwhile presidents who did not have a dog. I mean, Chester A. Arthur was the only president with no pets, and let’s be honest – who the fuck [sic] was Chester A. Arthur?”

Michelle Obama to Push Spanish Characters into American-English Alphabet

Michelle Obama described the move Tuesday evening while dining at Oyamel Cocina Mexicana – one of the premiere Mexican dining establishments in D.C.

“The Spanish alphabet is not far-off from that of what most English speaking Americans are used to,” Michelle Obama said, “Plus, this can actually be looked at as a fun…”

Gay, Atheist-Owned Bakery Indifferent About What Cakes They Make

…A move which undoubtedly does not allow Christians to express their personally-held convictions that they are entitled to under an Amendment.

Talk show radio host Rush Limbaugh, upon hearing about the gay, atheist-owned bakery in Bloomington from a caller decided to reveal just how unfair the “Godless, liberals in this country have become.” He issued this challenge to his listeners in the Greater Bloomington area…